I want it all. One day.
Right now, I live through my friends’ relationships and babysit to calm my baby fever.
Every day, I am witnessing a new engagement and/or pregnancy announcement. It makes my heart so happy to see people marry their better half and have children who are mini them. One day, I want to be in their shoes. Enjoying the new beginning of God plans for the next chapter. But, why the rush?
Going back to my senior year of high school, I remember talking to friends who planned have having two kids before the age of 21. All I would tell them is, ‘more power to you’. At 18, I was still figuring out how to walk in heels without a stick up my bum.
From 18-21, many of my decisions have changed drastically and the person I am today is not the same from 4 years ago. I used to never want kids, now I want quit a few. Before, leaving my neighborhood made me uncomfortable, now I travel around the world. The only think that remanded the same is my future for becoming a nurse practitioner.
I get it, we all desire that love and compassion but here is the mistake people make. Once we find a glimpse of it, we decide to settle and let go of ourselves. Everything about the person becomes ‘perfect’ and we ignore the reality of it. This is called the honeymoon faze. The honeymoon faze can last up to 2 years then you run into a wall of reality. You started to notice the little annoying things such as his obsession of smelling your pits. Then you witness the make or break issues such as different religions or wanting no kids. Everything starts falling apart because just yesterday he was still your ‘perfect’ soulmate. Then, it happens. You start to think ‘marriage can fix this’ or ‘if we had kids then all our problems would go away’. No. Don’t go there.
Marriage, Kids, Life. It is all a beautiful gift that God gives us. Though, these factors do not fix a relationship; they add more stress. Once you say yes at the alter, you better get ready for another roller coaster ride. This is why you hear the famous saying ‘Marry your best friend’.
To make it clear, a best friend should be someone who has seen the worst and best of you. Someone who sees all your brokenness and still wants to love you. William Shakespeare says it best, “One that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow”
At 18, I thought I had it figured out. Get married, have a couple kids, and grow old. Now, I realized we have our whole lives ahead of us. Whether it is alone for now or with a special someone. If we all lived till 70 and found our spouse within 5 years, that means we would spend 40+ years of our life with them. If 40+ years is going to be with the opposite sex, then why can’t we spend 1-5 years of growing with the Lord and learning who we are? God has a spouse for every one of us. With His perfect timing, we will find them and fall madly in love. Right now, enjoy life and the people who are in it.
A wise person has told me, “you will love your spouse the same way you love the Lord. The amount of love, time, respect, and effort you give to God will be the same you give to your spouse”
God is our Father but He is also our lover. When you let down your walls to Him, He will provide you with the most romantic love story known to man. Marriage and kids are on the top of my list but the bond I have with Lord will always be my number one.
Stop looking so hard for love & Enjoy the gifts God has given around you.
“Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart”